40 Before 40 Inner Work Series: Setting Self-Expectations

Uncategorized Mar 05, 2020

 When I first decided I wanted to leave my job and be a fulltime writer and entrepreneur, I set self-expectations and promised myself that these would be non-negotiable. 

I knew they were the only way to hold myself accountable and keep me from getting distracted by shiny bells and whistles or the wolves in sheep's clothing. After two years of entrepreneurship, I'm proud to say the following has not only helped me, but my clients and students:  

Show Up 

I stress this with my students that they must show up every day for results. Once I gained momentum, I fell in love with the feeling of being disciplined, living by my calendar and seeing projects get completed because I took the small steps every day that move the needle forward. 

But you have to mentally show up too. I used to show up at work and go through the motions with half effort (and even at half the effort I could still be a high performer in those monotonous jobs and pointless meetings). Once...

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Stop Telling Stories Badly at Holiday Parties

Uncategorized Dec 12, 2019

Before you head to that potluck, office party of family celebration, you want to go with a few aces up your sleeve so you’re not the boring person at a holiday party.

If you’re dreading holiday parties this year, start looking at these opportunities as a way to improve your writing, find golden material and become a better speaker.

What NOT to talk about

It’s winter. It’s cold outside. Everyone can agree on that. Even if you live in Miami or Honolulu, it’s still a few degrees colder than normal.

And what do you do for a living? Most people like their job titles, others don’t, but it’s sad to let those things define us when we have so much more to talk about. During the holidays we leave work behind to focus on our loved ones. So why have empty conversations?

Intentionally challenge yourself to not talk about work or the weather. Within the first 10 minutes you will hear it from someone else, and if you do, redirect them with something else...

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Girl Boss Tips for Dining Out with Clients, Partners and Creators: BJs Woodland Hills

Uncategorized Oct 05, 2019

As an international and domestic blogger, I constantly take clients and partners out for meals because I know discussions and decisions happen over the table.

I find myself traveling to Woodland Hills and other parts of the San Fernando Valley more frequently in the past few months, as many of my dance rehearsals or meetings are in the area. Even after living in LA since 2002, I still don’t know much about the Valley or canyons.

Whether it’s my guests’ first time in Los Angeles or they want a trusted comfort meal from a name they recognize, BJs Woodland Hills is a new place for my girl boss meetups. 

International Clients and American Comfort Food 

When I’m hosting clients, partners and guests, I’m often asked, “what do you recommend?” or “what’s good?”, and I like to to take them to a location that has a mix of different savory flavors to try. I tend to lean towards spicy food, but I know that a small percentage...

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Andrew Yang: MATH, Mindset and a Movement of Radical Change

MacArthur Park, a place I once knew as gangster’s paradise in the ‘90s, is transformed with a sea of blue MATH signs, hand painted Andrew Yang art (even graffiti art), with MC Jin’s Yang-inspired anthem pumping up the crowd to spread his message that has been catching fire all year. 

I’m not surprised that a REAL entrepreneur could grow rapidly, entrepreneurs know how to market, brand themselves, problem solve and get people on board with their vision. 

Watching his campaign grow is my nightly obsession, instead of binge watching a Netflix series I am searching Paget Kagy or Problem Solver Politics YouTube videos before bed, wondering what the next hashtag or call-to-action will be for the Yang Gang. 

As a single mom, writer, entrepreneur, podcast host, and a voice for women, I have to share why his policies and leadership is important now more than ever: 

Welfare is an AWFUL System 

I applied for food stamps SEVEN...

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What I Wish I Knew as a Teen Mom

teen mom Aug 13, 2019

I forgot what it was like to push a double stroller with a diaper bag stuffed under the carriage, while having to prop the door open with my foot and swivel the stroller through a narrow door.

My kids are now young adults, ready to leave for college, and while I was waiting my turn to speak on the panel at the Embrace Her! Event by Generation Her, seeing young faces with toddlers hanging off their arms took me back to my early days of motherhood, surrounded by other teen moms while living near Fort Hood, Texas as we thought of what life would be like once the Army wifey days were over.

At the event, the young moms asked me the same questions I had when I was their age:

“Should I go to school when I can’t afford daycare?”

“How can I get approved for Medi-Cal when my boyfriend makes too much money?”

“How can I not compare myself to the other influencers on Instagram?” (in my day, it was a music video, or magazine)

Now that my kids are...

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The Toxic Person is Gone, Now What?

Uncategorized Mar 07, 2019

The Truth about Your Team’s Recovery Phase  

There have been many bullies I’ve faced, in the family, the workplace, and frenemies, and for each one I’ve watched the hammer fall down on them through their own actions.

If you’re caught in the toxic place right now, and you dream of the day when you leave that awful school, workplace or move out of that toxic household, are you left thinking, what’s next? Why do those bad memories still linger?

There is a recovery phase. And often it is the fighters that are stuck cleaning up the mess.

But sometimes as leaders and fighters we get caught up in cleaning the mess and holding the team together that we forget to look at how far and deep the poison spread.

So that toxic person is finally gone

The Purge

You got the company announcement: the vague response that says the person has been removed without explaining the reasons why.

The tension is released by water coolers and in digital chat rooms. Employees are...

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Why You Need to Stop Toughing Out Verbal Abuse at Work and with Clients

I had the pleasure of meeting leaders in the anti-bullying movement this year, and instead of just walking away from a client that I really loved and was passionate about their mission, I decided to stay and this time take a stand against a verbally abusive bully.

And yes, I put myself in jeopardy with this client. But I was managing a team and this bully was affecting them, making them scared to speak up in meetings and the ideas stopped coming. If we were going to keep serving the customers in the best possible way, we had to remove this behavior.

Verbal Abuse Starts Small

Just like any abusive situation, it starts so small that it is barely noticable, and we like to think our minds are overreacting, but really it’s our intuition talking. Don’t ignore that subtle passive comment. It will only be followed by that demeaning remark disguised as a joke later. Hiding needed materials and processes so they can maintain control and meddle, positioning themselves as...

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